Perceptions… opinions and unfairness …

He was disturbed and frustrated. “It is unfair…he is unfair to me” he told me.

“How? What he did?” he explained me his story. There are always two perspectives; there are always opinions and most of the time perceptions. 

“It is your story, there may be his story and reality may be totally different.” I counselled him. I know, I was philosophical. But I wonder to understand how viewpoints are made. Sometimes these opinions and perceptions create problems. In professional life, if you make such opinions on perceptions, specially about the person, then person gets affected. Leader’s job is to really dig into and be fair on the assessment. As rightly said by  Hippocrates, “There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance.”

If you are ignorant and make opinions based on certain assumptions, you are really not fair to the person. There should be the spectrum of acceptable opinion. The discussion should be within that spectrum. This spectrum should be created based on the incidents and facts and not based on the assumptions.

People give feedback and receive feedback. Sometimes feedback is based on the perceptions, perceptions are based on some experiences and when we have certain experiences we tend to justify ourselves. When you argue on justifications, and other person does not have the right justification, believe that next person is unfair to you. However your justification should be right and with examples.

There are perceptual errors that create bias or lack of subjectivity in evaluations & while giving opinions. This is all about the personality. If your mind is tuned to do the perceptual errors, you will do that, but your brain may correct, if you have the right attitude.

You may make the mistake by ignoring his good traits over one bad trait or vice versa just because you focus more on specific trait.  Sometimes just the next person is comfortable and listens you well, you tend to make the right opinion about him. You just label somebody based on one incident or  just targeting the person rather his behavior. Such actions of yours give the wrong signals and then you are stamp unfair, yes you are unfair if you do so…

According to me and based on the experience, I can definitely say, “sometimes somebody will be unfair to you, just ignore and move ahead… Someday somebody will be unfair to him also…”