How people manipulate...

Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom, there lived a clever and cunning fox named Karaka. Karaka was always looking for ways to trick and manipulate others for his own gain. One day, he came up with a plan to trick the king of the kingdom, who was known for his love of hunting.

Karaka went to the king and told him that there was a magical deer that lived in the forest, which was said to be the most elusive and difficult to catch. The king, intrigued by the idea, immediately set out to hunt for the deer.

Karaka, knowing the king would never be able to find the deer, led him on a wild goose chase through the forest. The king, who was not familiar with the forest, was easily led astray by Karaka's clever tricks and manipulations.

For days, the king searched for the deer, but to no avail. Finally, he grew tired and frustrated and decided to give up the hunt. Karaka, seeing his opportunity, suggested that the king could always go hunting with him, as he knew the forest well and would be able to guide him to the deer.

The king, tired and defeated, agreed to this arrangement. And so, Karaka was able to manipulate the king into becoming his hunting companion, and he used this opportunity to gain the king's trust and favor.

In the end, the king learned that the deer did not exist, and that Karaka had only been using him for his own gain. The king was disappointed but grateful for the lesson he learned about the dangers of manipulation. He banished Karaka from the kingdom, and from that day forward, he was more cautious and skeptical of those who claimed to have special knowledge or abilities.

Moral of the Story: Be wary of those who try to manipulate you for their own gain. Trust your instincts and be vigilant in identifying and avoiding those who would use you for their own benefit.

We may have different experiences while working or interacting with different people. Sometimes irrespective of your positive or good behavior, people will try to manipulate you for their personal agenda. Manipulation is common, but if it hurts next person, then it is dangerous.  

Manipulative tactics are behaviors that are designed to control or influence someone in a subtle or deceptive way. These tactics can be difficult to recognize, as they are often disguised as helpful or caring actions. However, they can have a negative impact on both the person being manipulated and the manipulator.

They manipulate because,

• They have personal agenda to gain something from you,
• They have a fear that you are hindrance in their growth,
• They are insecure about you,
• They feel that you are a threat to them,
• They are envy with your success, approach and experience,
•  They just hate you because of your cultural and personal background. 

They will use different tactics to manipulate you. Some are as under: 

Gaslighting: This involves manipulating someone into doubting their own perceptions and memories. The manipulator may deny or downplay events that have taken place, or may try to make the victim feel like they are going crazy. Sometimes, they will just create a situation on a smaller issue where someone questions their own sanity or memory. This is often done in order to gain and maintain power and control over the next person.

Trying to praise the person: Manipulators may use excessive flattery or praise to try to win someone over and to get what they want. This tactic is often used to make the victim feel special or important, and to create a sense of obligation. This involves overwhelming someone with affection in order to gain control over them. Asking support and help primarily is the first step. But they are selfish here. Will get the job done and then keep you aside. 

Guilt-tripping: Manipulators may try to make the victim feel guilty or responsible for their own feelings or actions. They may try to play on the victim's emotions or to make them feel like they owe something to the manipulator. 

The person implies your smaller mistakes, making the fuss around that and creating the situation where the next person may feel that he/she has made a big mistake. 

Passive-aggressiveness: This involves indirectly expressing negative feelings through indirect or nonverbal communication.

Emotional blackmail: Using someone's emotions or vulnerability to control or manipulate them. This involves using emotional manipulation to get what the manipulator wants.

Sidelining or Isolating: They cut you off from their support system. Most of the time, you are kept aside or they will sideline you. They will start directly interacting with your team ignoring you during meetings irrespective of the capabilities of the other person.    

Triangulation: Here they will involve a third person in a situation. Will create a negative impression among others about you. 

Coercion and threats: This involves using threats or force to make someone do something.

Manipulative people can be difficult to deal with, as they often use tactics like guilt, shame, and emotional manipulation to get what they want.

 

Reverse psychology: They will convince you to do something by telling them not to do it.

Fear tactics: Creating the atmosphere of fear by using fear of fake incidents and or using misinformation. 

Mind games: using complex and manipulative tactics to control or manipulate someone's thoughts and emotions. Gossiping and encouraging gossiping and not speaking good about you. They will try to connect the information from others which they will use against you. 

If manipulation tactics are not successful, they will try to eliminate the next person in different ways. They will create a situation, where the next person will feel that s/he is not respected and will leave the organization. 

How to handle such people?

It can be easy to feel confused and overwhelmed in these situations, but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and to assert your own boundaries. I learnt these while dealing with those idiots. 

First and foremost, it's important to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate you. Look out for red flags like flattery, guilt-tripping, or attempts to make you feel responsible for their emotions.

Once you've identified that someone is trying to manipulate you, it's important to set boundaries and to communicate them clearly. Let the person know what is and is not acceptable behavior, and be firm and assertive in your communication.

It can also be helpful to seek out the support of friends, family, or colleagues in these situations. Surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage you can provide you with the strength and confidence you need to stand up to manipulative individuals. If you are working in the organization, use the whistleblower mechanism against the person. 

Finally, remember that it's okay to say no. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to put your own needs first. Don't feel guilty or ashamed for standing up for yourself and for setting boundaries.

Don't feel guilty: Manipulative people may try to make you feel guilty or ashamed for standing up for yourself or for setting boundaries. It's important to remember that it's okay to say no and to prioritize your own well-being.

Communicate clearly: Make sure to clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations with the person. Be firm and assertive in your communication, and don't let them bully or intimidate you.

Document everything: If your boss is engaging in manipulative behavior, it's important to document it. Keep track of any instances of manipulation, and make sure to keep copies of any relevant emails or other communication.

Please respond the survey, I am conducting, as a part of my research by clicking on >> Leadership Competencies required for managers while handling crisis situations. 

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, Pothi and BookGanga. You can buy the print copy of Vitality in Human Resources on amazon. Click >> Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes    

Royalty from books is used for social cause. 

Make your relationships healthy

Relationships are a fundamental part of being human. They are a crucial way that we connect with and relate to others, and they play a significant role in our overall well-being and happiness. In this article, we will explore the different types of relationships, their importance, and how they can be nurtured and maintained.

There are many different types of relationships, and each one plays a unique role in our lives. Some of the most common types of relationships include romantic relationships, familial relationships, platonic relationships, and professional relationships.

Romantic relationships are perhaps the most well-known and celebrated type of relationship. They are typically characterized by deep feelings of love, attraction, and commitment, and they often involve a high level of intimacy and physical connection. Romantic relationships can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, but they can also be challenging and require a lot of work to maintain. 

In romantic relationships, it is important to be affectionate, supportive, and attentive to your partner's needs. This means expressing love and care through actions such as holding hands, giving compliments, and listening actively to your partner. It also means being willing to compromise and communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and needs.

In friendships, it is important to be a good listener, to be non-judgmental, and to be there for your friends when they need support. This means being willing to listen to your friends' concerns and offer advice and encouragement when needed. It also means being accepting of your friends' differences and supporting them in their goals and aspirations.

Familial relationships are another important type of relationship. These are the relationships that we have with our parents, siblings, and other family members, and they often play a crucial role in our overall sense of belonging and support. Familial relationships can be complex and multifaceted, and they may evolve and change over time.

In family relationships, it is important to be loving, supportive, and respectful. This means showing love and affection through actions such as hugs and words of affirmation. It also means being willing to help out with household chores and other responsibilities, and being patient and understanding with family members who may be going through difficult times.

Platonic relationships are relationships that are based on friendship and mutual respect, rather than romantic attraction. Platonic relationships can be just as important and fulfilling as romantic relationships, and they often involve a deep level of trust and connection. Platonic relationships can provide support, companionship, and a sense of belonging.

Professional relationships are another important type of relationship, and they are typically characterized by a shared goal or purpose. Professional relationships can be with colleagues, supervisors, clients, or customers, and they often involve a level of trust and cooperation. 

Professional relationships can be crucial for career success and personal fulfilment. In professional relationships, it is important to be reliable, respectful, and professional. This means being punctual, following through on your commitments, and treating your colleagues with courtesy and respect. It also means maintaining appropriate boundaries and avoiding conflicts of interest.

Regardless of the type of relationship, all relationships require effort and commitment to maintain. 

Here are some imperatives for maintaining healthy relationships:

Communication: Effective communication is a fundamental imperative in all relationships. This means being able to listen actively and communicate openly and honestly with the other person. It also involves being able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that the other person can understand.

Trust: Trust is essential to the success of any relationship. It involves being honest and transparent with the other person, and being reliable and dependable in your actions and words.

Boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is an important in relationships. This means being clear about what you are and are not willing to accept, and communicating these boundaries to the other person. It also involves respecting the other person's boundaries.

Conflict resolution: Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and being able to effectively resolve conflicts is an important process. This involves being able to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and needs, and being willing to compromise and find mutually acceptable solutions.

Growth and development: Relationships provide an opportunity for personal growth and development. This involves being open to learning and changing, and being willing to support the other person in their growth and development as well.

By understanding and engaging in these imperatives, individuals can build healthy, successful relationships with the people in their lives.

Here are some tips for nurturing and maintaining healthy relationships:

Communicate openly and honestly: Effective communication is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. It involves expressing your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, listening actively to the other person, and being willing to compromise and find common ground.

Show empathy and understanding: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves putting yourself in the other person's shoes and trying to see things from their perspective. Empathy can help you to connect with others and build stronger relationships.

Be supportive and there for each other: Support is a crucial part of any healthy relationship. It involves being there for the other person, offering help and guidance when needed, and being a source of strength and comfort.

Be respectful and considerate: Respect and consideration are essential for maintaining healthy relationships. It involves treating the other person with kindness, thoughtfulness, and consideration, and showing them that you value them and their feelings.

Nurture the relationship: Just like any other aspect of life, relationships require effort and attention to maintain. This involves making time for the other person, engaging in activities and experiences together, and consistently showing them that you care.

In conclusion, relationships are a fundamental part of being human, and they play a significant role in our overall well-being and happiness. Different types of relationships serve different purposes and provide different benefits, but all relationships require effort and commitment to maintain. By nurturing and maintaining healthy relationships, we can create a sense of connection, support, and fulfilment in our lives.

Please respond the survey, I am conducting, as a part of my research by clicking on >> Leadership Competencies required for managers while handling crisis situations. 

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, Pothi and BookGanga. You can buy the print copy of Vitality in Human Resources on amazon. Click >> Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes    

Royalty from books is used for social cause. 

Love yourself

Self Compassion

We all have some expectations from ourselves, however when those expectations are not fulfilled, we become angry and disappointed. Sometimes we curse ourselves. If this happens repeatedly, we start self-doubting. We are all taught to respect others, listen to others, understand others and so on…human being is a social animal; and hence most of the times, its need is recognition. Recognition of any form works for him. Recognition of being a respected person in the society, recognition of good human being. If the person behaves badly, still it wants the recognition for being bad. Human beings expect a good tag for him, and the person will do anything to get it. Good people try to get the recognition of being good and bad people get it by being bad. Good people try to get acceptance from society. 

The whole award industry is using those professionals where every 1 professional out of 10 is getting some achiever, top professional, top leader award. Why this? Because to be likable and respectable. But when they try to be more likable and compromise with their values then conflict occurs. To get an award, to make others happy, to make a boss happy, to make peers happy, we go beyond boundaries which they don't care.  In this process, we do injustice to ourselves. 

Bad people try to create the impression by being worse and dangerous. That’s why the gangsters, scamsters, mafias proudly publicize their work. Once I was interacting one of the union leaders and he was proudly telling me how many half murders he has done and how many court cases are against him.  

Image- internet

Forget those bad people, but let’s speak about those people who want to always be likable. They care a lot for other people, but not themselves. The pressure of performance, the pressure of earning meals for the family, relationship conflicts and workplace stress create an unnecessary burden on human beings. The pandemic has put everyone in a very odd situation like this. However, it is also the time to take care of yourself. During the air travel the safety instructions are given before the take off. While doing this crew members emphasize on putting the oxygen mask first and then to the child and others. This means that you should survive first and be able to help others. Unless you don’t care about yourself, nobody will help you. If you love your family and friends, first be able to help them by caring for yourself. And to do that you have to be compassionate towards yourself. Self-compassion is crucial for your survival in a real sense. Self-compassion is more powerful than your self-esteem. People who are compassionate toward their struggles, feelings, failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly criticize themselves. Self-compassion increases the feeling of security and net worth. This is more powerful when you get a setback, and your self-esteem is low. 

Whenever there is negative thought, self-compassion helps to think deeply and come out from the setbacks. When we love ourselves, we are kind with self, it brings positivity. This positivity is important to be resilient. When you accept yourself as it is then only you can think to change. In that case, being vulnerable, taking critical feedback and recognizing development areas becomes easy.  

Accept yourself as it is and be compassionate with yourself. 

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on Amazon, Flipkart, Pothi and BookGanga. You can buy the print copy of Vitality in Human Resources on amazon. Click >> Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes    

Income from books is used for social cause. 

Are you stuck up?

Imposter syndrome

Image: Pixabay

Are you stuck up in your current job and you are experiencing that you are not performing as per the expectations? Do you feel that you are not as capable as others perceive and your success is because of your boss, or external factors and not because of your performance? Do you feel that you are not included in the team, and nobody supports you? Are you trying to please everybody and have the feeling that you are making a lot of mistakes? If your answer is ‘yes’, perhaps you are going through an “imposter experience” also known as “imposter syndrome”. Sometimes in the career we are stuck up; there are challenges, but we are not in a position to take any action. This is a natural phenomena, however, when you feel helpless and want to withdraw, then definitely there is something wrong with you. This also leads to taking things personally and not taking the critical feedback positively. The person with these feelings starts doubting herself/himself. This leads to negative self-image.

The life here is not in the person’s control, s/he tries to set high goals, please others, try to be perfectionist and never satisfied with his/her level of understanding and try to learn many things.

Most of the time, the roots of our behaviours are in our background, upbringings and the way we are grown by parents. Studies suggest that people who come from families characterized by high levels of conflict with low amounts of support may be more likely to experience imposter syndrome. Sometimes it is possible when the person gets the new role and doesn’t believe that s/he has the right skill sets to perform. People also experience the imposter experience, when they are going through transitions. There are certain reasons like the way we think, the self-image we have developed, poor ability to manage stress & anxiety and having more expectations from self and others.   

Imposter syndrome is not the lifelong syndrome. You can overcome this experience by being positive and developing the belief in yourself. It is important to reflect on some hard-hitting questions like do you really need approval from others? Are you practical with your strengths and weaknesses?  And what are those experiences which you can reverse positively?

Few strategies to cope with imposter syndrome are:

• Self-reflect: Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t become personal when somebody is giving you the feedback for the improvement. We all have blind spots and working on those is crucial in development.
• Challenge your thought process, identify, and recognize positive experiences where you perform and feel good. Believe that, if you did good in the past, you would do better in the future.   
• Share your feelings to whom you believe. Take their opinion and suggestions. Asking for help and support is not bad. If required, ask for the support you need from others.
• Learn emotional intelligence skills. Try to recognize the feeling and reason behind those. There may be some belief behind those emotions and feelings. Then try to convert those feelings into some rational thought process and positive feelings, sometimes finding the silver lining and creating new beliefs.
• Most important is accept yourself as it is. Think rationally about yourself. Don’t look at yourself through the eyes of others. Think or rate your behaviour and not self.

The belief that what we carry is not necessarily right, hence it is important to work on those beliefs and develop new ones based on new experiences.  

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on Amazon, Flipkart, Pothi and BookGanga. Income from books is used for social cause. 

Excuse, blame and attribution

He was waiting for me for the last 1 hours. Of course, I was late for the dinner because of the traffic. My judgement about reaching the hotel went wrong. He must be upset as I requested him to meet to discuss the important issue. He agreed in spite of having an early morning flight to fly to Delhi the next day. I reached the hotel. He was waiting for me. I apologized for reaching late and started giving the explanation.

“My bad luck, today the traffic was terrible.” I said apologetically.

“Pune is known for its bad traffic, isn’t?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“It is routine for Punekars now to be in the traffic and face the same.” He

“……….” I just smiled.

“So why use this as an excuse? We know that traffic will always derail your plans. Isn’t it wise to plan for considering the bad traffic?”

“Hmm, I agree.” I couldn't agree more. 

“By the way don’t worry, I am not upset with you. Just wanted to explain to you that we should accept the fact and consider that fact while deciding our action.”

“I agree.”

“This is a general behaviour of human beings to attribute things.”

“Means?” I asked.  

“Attribution is the way in which we determine the cause of our own or other’s behaviour.”

“Explain in more detail.”

“What you did now, you are late… and you attributed it to the traffic. So here coming late is your behaviour, but you think that this is because of the traffic”

“But that is the reality.” I said,

“No, we tend to explain our own actions in terms of circumstances and attribute the actions of others to character flaws; the reverse is true when the results are positive.” He explained further. 

“I understand attributing the cause of our action to circumstances or situations like bad traffic. But how is it related to the actions of others?” I asked my doubt.

“Take an example of an employee who has not completed the task. Generally what excuses he gives?” 

“The employee may say that he didn’t get the cooperation from his manager, or the team was not supportive. He may blame the processes, culture and anything which is not in his favour.” I replied.

“Exactly, there you are.”

Meanwhile, the waiter served our drinks. While he was serving, we took a pause. He refilled our wine glasses and went back.

‘Cheers.” We raise the glasses.

“This is also a cognitive bias, right?” I spoke.

“Absolutely right. People create their own ‘subjective reality’ from their perception of the input. An individual’s construction of reality, not the objective input, may dictate their behaviour in the world. Thus, cognitive biases may sometimes lead to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality.”

“True, and there may be different things in life, we perceive based on our perception and make our opinions about the people.”

“Yes, when we attribute the behaviour based on the dressing style of the next person, his background, culture and many more.”  

“Hmm. How to overcome this?” I asked,

‘Simple, first start recognizing these things, these biases, the attributions we relate.”

Then he took the tissue paper and he started scribing with the pen. 

He explained the process as under:

Recognize and Realise: Recognise that these are biases and present in each individual. You encounter a lot of people and they may also attribute something with your behaviour.”

Challenge your narratives: Our brain creates story. If a new employee attends office in casuals, you will attribute that he is not serious about the job. Challenge this story. You are late because of traffic is another story, but reality is you have not planned your drive well.``

Verify your narrative: For example, instead of judging the person about the attire he wears, check his attitude and his performance. Verify the facts instead of making opinions. 

Stop giving excuses: Finally, think about what you can do to influence instead of thinking about the circumstances and behaviour of others. 

“This is excellent learning. I will definitely try to implement it in my life.” I replied.

Next 2 hours, we were into a deep discussion managing the restructuring in the organization.  

Author's book are available on Amazon, Flipkart, Pothi and BookGanga 

Vitality in Human Resource is now available in paperback edition. Please click here to buy

Buy Industrial Relations Strategy Framework For Every Manager on amazon. Click IR Strategy Framework

Toxic Parrot

Toxic Parrot is our state of mind which is self critical, negative and unhelpful for self and others.

“Do you know that we carry a colourful but very dangerous parrot every moment?”.  He asked.

“What? What do you mean by that?” My reply.

“Parrot is a bird, it learns what you teach it, it will recite what he listened without understanding the meaning of that.”

“Yes, parrots are like that. They have a strong memory.”

“But imagine that you get that parrot. You don’t know from where it is. It doesn't have any knowledge, wisdom, or insight.”

“Ok!”

“However, this parrot is fed with self-criticism, negative thought and is always critical with others. What will you call that parrot?” He asked me.

“Of course, it is a toxic parrot.” I replied

“Yes, Toxic parrots are specifically trained to be unhelpful to you continuously commenting on you, your life and others in a way that constantly puts you down.”

“This is interesting, I like the metaphor.” Indeed, it was a great metaphor.

“This toxic parrot will always criticize you for everything, putting down your self-image. For example, when you don’t get the promotion in the office, it will criticize that you are not worth for the promotion, you are dumb and there are others more deserving candidates. If you are late for catching a bus, it will say, there you are … late latif… as usual... you can’t, useless.”

“And how this parrot is harmful to others?” I had a question.

“Toxic parrot while criticizing you, it will also criticize others because of unhappiness. It will ask you to blame others. It will give a constant message negatively about others also.”

“You are right, yet we can often put up with the thoughts from this internal bully for far too long. We hear that “parrot‟, believe the “parrot‟, and naturally get upset. That then affects the way we live our lives – the way we behave towards others, how we are, what we think about others, what we think about the world, and how we think and feel about ourselves.” I said.

“Wow, absolutely, you are getting it now” He smiled,

“But how we can keep shut the toxic parrot.”

“There is an Antidote for this.”

“Antidote and how to use that?”

“Simple, just notice that toxic parrot, and cover the cage!”

“Means?”

“Imagine that you are throwing a towel to the cage where the toxic parrot is.”

“Just reinforce the message, there’s that parrot again. I don’t have to listen to it. It’s just a parrot”. He told me, “Then go and do something else. Put your focus of attention on something else, distract yourself from the toxic parrot.”

“Is it so easy? By doing this will it keep its mouth shut?”

“No, this parrot is toxic, and it won’t give up easily, so you’ll need to keep using that antidote and be persistent in your practice! Eventually it will get tired of the towel, tired of you not responding. You’ll notice it less and less. It might just give up its poison as your antidote overcomes it, or perhaps fly off to wherever toxic parrots go.”

(The story is written by Vinod Bidwaik, based on the concept of “The Malevolent Parrot” by Kristina Iving)

Author's book are available on Amazon, Flipkart and BookGanga 

Vitality in Human Resource is now available in paperback edition. Please click here to buy

Creating the personal impact…

J

oydeep is a performing employee, he is working well and his manager is happy with him, but he is not in a list of high potential employees. He is tagged as a good employee, but not an excellent employee. Sudeep is another employee, he is also working well, but manager is more happy with Sudeep and he is definitely in the list of high potential.

Why this difference?  

All of us know businesses thrive on strong relationships, so we do all we can to impress our clients and external stakeholders. Most people, however, pay little or no attention to their relationships with peers, bosses and co-workers, though this might seem an obvious thing to do. Here's how you can become the 'Go to' person and get noticed at work.

The difference is Sudeep is more smart than joydeep and knows how to do the personal branding. There are different ways to create your personal impact. Following are few tips:

Be visible in the office. Walk around the office:

Offices are communities, communities of different workgroups.  Most of us spend up to 9-19 hours a day in close proximity, sharing the same office space, facilities, break rooms, refrigerators, coffee pots, etc, with our work colleagues. Everyone shares responsibility for making the company work, run smoothly and stay profitable. Keep aside about 10-15 minutes a day to take a round, greet all the people you know with a smile and exchange pleasantries. Show the interest in other people. Recognize their achievements, their attire, good thing, you observe.

A smile and a warm handshake can wear off the stress most of us go through. Besides, making this effort adds to your desirability factor at work. And, even though it is considered a cliche, do remember smiling is contagious.

Recognize and appreciate your colleagues: 

Always recognize the good work done by the colleagues. Communicate this to manager how much you appreciate a certain colleague or subordinate for the specific skill sets. When your colleagues come to know this appreciation, you have already build the credibility.  You can also do this in his presence. You would have won his/ her trust and  it will make your senior colleague respect you.

Be genuine and specific as you can. 

Make your name visible:

Have you thought of contributing to your organization's newsletter or Website or the journal that gets distributed within the organization? Since company publications are frequently read by top executives, you'll be increasing your personal reach while establishing yourself as an expert in your chosen area. It's a great way to blow your own trumpet, albeit in a sophisticated fashion.

Join a cross functional team or committee:

Organizations now a days take lot of initiatives for improvements and developments. Cross Functional Teams (CFTs) are formed and company either nominates employees to work or expect some volunteers to join the same.  Have you thought of volunteering to Join such CFTs?  Interacting with the same colleagues everyday won't increase your exposure; however, working on a CFTs with new people gives you an opportunity to make new contacts. It also gives you the opportunity to show your talent and skills to people who matter within the organization.

Handle and sustain with the Conflicts:

Workplace conflicts are most common and therein lies the opportunity to demonstrate your leadership and management skills. When done correctly, it can give you amazing results.

If you are trying to resolve a workplace conflict, do not get judgmental and take sides; rather, just serve as a facilitator and establish the ground rules for professional conduct at work. Keep resolution of the conflict in mind at all times; do not get involved or become emotional.

Offer a Support:

Fill it up. If you've used the last piece of paper in a shared copier or printer, fill it up again even if it means going to the supply room to get another ream. After you've poured the coffee into your cup, take a minute to make another one for the next person in the queue.

Offer to mentor that new recruit at work or share a trade secret -- something that will help a colleague look good before his/ her boss. Often, these small gestures help you build relationships and also spread a good word around about you at the workplace.

Your best performance:

There is nothing that will give you more exposure than getting the employee of the month or quarter award at the Rewards & Recognition event. Since these awards are often given by the top management, it gives you an opportunity to put your name before the key decision makers in your organization. Remember, you won't get ahead with mediocre performance, regardless of how many other steps you implement.

Keep updated:

Read industry publications, reports and magazines, and be aware of market trends. Your knowledge will reflect when you communicate with colleagues and they would look up to you for advice and information. They will also talk positively about you with other members of the team. There is nothing better than third party publicity, as it establishes you as a thought leader within your organization.

Be a Subject Matter Expert & Volunteer for conducting trainings: 

Organizations prefer internal SMEs for training employees and new recruits. Choose one of the area where you are strong and offer the module to new employee in the function or other department. Get the support from your manager for doing this.

Don't shy away from personal branding at work. If done well, it can have a positive impact and help you get ahead at work.

You may also like to read  Personal Branding .

Make your own Luck…

Luck is the choice and you can actually design your luck.

Do you believe on luck? Almost all believe on these two words. There is positive and negative connotation to the words. But do you think that you can always be lucky? Luck means occurring by chance, which implies that luck just happens by chance and it can’t be planned or obtained by intention.

Off course you can’t influence the decision of raffle or lottery or roll of dice. So here you can’t win by wishing or hoping, yet you can be lucky, how? Just observe following,

Know what you want: I decided to take a new car and it was clear in my mind that I would like to purchase Honda City. When I decided, I seemed to see the Honda city everywhere on the road. While driving, car next to me or car besides to me was Honda City. Off course it hadn’t just appeared, it had always on the road. But it was only after I had learned the Honda city that I noticed it.

If you don’t know what you want, how will you know when you find it?        

After few days, I was the owner of new Honda City.

In a similar way, when we become aware of opportunities, we notice them everywhere. Like my new Honda City. When we feel lucky, we see opportunities everywhere. When we do not feel lucky, we miss them completely. Off course, the opportunities are always there, but we are not aware of the, unless we feel lucky. Opportunities of all kind around us, but we recognize them only when we feel lucky.

Let people know what you want: if you let others know what you want, they pass on to useful information and tips. If your friends are not aware that you want to change the job, they can’t help you. But if you communicate, they would definitely

communicate opportunities.

Try, try and try again, but if it still doesn’t work, then try something else. If something is not working well inspite of all efforts, give up and try something else, when you have done your best. But give it your best first.

Believe on your intuition: Respect your feelings. This does not mean you gamble on, it means that you listen to your feelings and intuition. Consider them carefully and check them well. you don’t know, you may discover something all of sudden from your insights. Some may be hidden and you may have to take it out from you.

Do you know that chain of carbon molecule was invented in dream…here is the story.

August Kekule, a Germen scientist, is regarded as one of the principal founders of modern organic chemistry, the chemistry of carbon-based compounds. In 1858 he showed that carbon can link with itself to form long chains. In 1865 he reported his discovery of the benzene ring as the basis for another major group of carbon molecules. Kekule told that he had a dream after falling into a reverie aboard a horse-drawn London bus. “The atoms were gamboling before my eyes!'' he saw how the larger ones formed a chain, dragging the smaller ones after them but only at the ends of the chain. Kekule literally invented how the carbon chains are formed while in dream. This is a power of intuition.   

Believe you will succeed: Many great achievements did not overnight. Often they were precede by many false start and difficulties. You need to maintain your faith that you will soon succeed in small things and in times in great ones. Never give up on your dreams.

You can be lucky, not by magic or dreaming, but by following some of the time tested tips mentioned above. However they do not substitute to smart work and efforts.

Good Luck.            

Be A Proactive Employee

Why Proactive employees are successful?

Proactive employee are self-directed.
They believe at all times that they have a choice.

Why few employees get very good or excellent rating during performance appraisals? Why few employees get promoted? Why few employees don’t get opportunities in spite of their so called hard work? And why only few employees lead teams?

If you ask me, I will say that those who get good career opportunities have potential and are more pro-active than others. Few employees just follow what managers tell. They neither try to change the system nor give any suggestions & ideas to improve.

Most leaders and managers want employees who can manage themselves, make decisions without careful direction, and take responsibility. Whether it is front-line customer service employees taking it upon themselves to ensure that the customer gets the best experience possible, or a team leader engaging in creative problem-solving of their own, rather than bringing every issue to the boss. Proactive employees constantly find new and better ways of doing their work.

What exactly does it mean to be a proactive employee?

We can identify this in two ways, first, we examine who and what a proactive employee is. Then we look at what a proactive employee is not.

You will find that proactive employee is “self-directed” and non-proactive is “other-directed.” The self-directed employee takes responsibility for his own decisions and actions. The other-directed employee adopts an “I have to” mentality, and responds only to direction.

Difference between proactive & Non-Proactive employees:

Other-directed people believe they have no control over their own lives and instead are controlled by people in authority. For an other-directed person, the locus of control is external to himself.

On the other hand, the self-directed person sees the locus of control as internal: I have control of my life. The basic underlying belief of the other-directed person is “I have to…” meaning there is no element of choice in following what the authority has requested. For the self-directed person, the belief is “I choose to.”

Let see the personality details of both employees trough following visual:

Personality of Other –directed employee (Non-proactive employee)

When employees comply and do something they do not want to do, their natural feeling is to resent the authority for forcing them to do it. Even though the other-directed employee will eventually complete the task, he will do it grudgingly, and only well enough to avoid trouble.

underlying belief of the other-directed person is “I have to…” meaning there is no element of choice in following what the authority has requested. For the self-directed person, the belief is “I choose to.”

Whether other-directed people comply or rebel, their attitude is: I am not responsible. 

They either behave like victims, feeling sorry for themselves and complaining to friends and co-workers about the boss, or they plot revenge. Sometimes they will do both. In either instance, their intention is to undermine, a leader, want to accomplish.

Personality of Self-directed employee (Proactive employee)

The central difference between other-directed and self-directed team members is that self-directed people believe at all times that they have a choice. When you ask self-directed employees to do a new task, their thinking is to either agree or disagree with doing it.

If they agree to do the task, then they will do it to the best of their ability, because it is their choice. If they disagree, they will explain to their manager the reasons why they disagree. Either way, the feeling that self-directed people have is one of acceptance of whatever the outcomes are of their decisions.

They accept the consequences of their actions because they feel ownership of them. If self-directed team members agree to do a job and do not do it to expected standards, then they will accept the consequences for not having given their best. If they disagree with the task, and there are negative consequences for doing so, they will accept these consequences, too. That’s what self-directed people do. Prior to making decisions they consider the consequences of the decision, then act based on their understanding of those consequences. Since self-directed people are responsible, they are only likely to disagree when they believe that what they are being asked to do is unreasonable, or is the wrong thing to do.

If you are en employee, check in which category you are and if you are a manager, make the strategy to deal with both type. As a manager, you don’t have much issues with Proactive employees, focus on Non-Proactive employees…