Sunday, January 30, 2022


It must have been eight o'clock at night. There was a terrifying silence around. The sound made by night insects was irritating. One bullock cart passed by. The sound of a bell ringing in a bull's neck could be heard in the middle of the distant road. The reflection of the crescent in the sky was visible in river water. A little wave was forming as the fish moved in the water. Smoke billowed from the earthen stoves in the distant houses could be seen. Some lights were seen flickering.

I was sitting alone on the riverbank outside the village for about an hour. Time was running out and my mind was full of thoughts. I was convinced that no one in the family loved me. Although it was a little late to go home, my worried parents did not come to search for me. 

Now I was slowly getting hungry. I started to miss my elder sister very much. She got married six months ago. If she had been home today, she would surely have come to find me. She loves me very much.

I didn’t know what to do. I started thinking whether I should go home without waiting for anyone. But how was it possible? With great courage, I had left home after being angry with my mother. If I had gone back home easily, my 'ego' would have been horribly hurt. I was expecting that my mother would come or send somebody to find me. 

As time went on, my patience was running out. I was feeling that I would starve to death. Hunger, disturbing silence and the terrible surroundings made me cry.  “Let's go home.  Mother must have cooked a meal. Let's eat that and come back again.” My mind told me. Finally I came to the conclusion that I have made a mistake by being angry at my mother and leaving home at odd hours.  

You must be curious why I was brooded over the mother? Right? 

It so happened that after coming home from school, I asked my mother for a new fountain pen. I had a pen; however the nib of that pen was worn out and the ink started oozing out. Some of my friends had nice pens. Seeing that, it was natural for me to dream of a new pen now. Mom asked me to change the nib and run on the same pen for a few more days.

“We'll get a new pen next month,” she said. But I wanted a pen right away. Of course, the old pen could have been pushed for a few days. But I persisted. Finally, mother declared that I would not get any new pen. 

I got disappointed and I said, “If you don't give me the pen, I'll leave the house.” 

She responded back angrily, “Are you blackmailing me? I will not tolerate your behaviour. If you wish to leave a home, you may.”   I felt bad and I went straight out of the house.

After a while, I heard a known call.  He was my father. I saw him and ran to him without much hesitation. My father looked at me angrily for the first time. But then he got mellowed down when he saw my face.

“Let’s buy a pen.”  He took me to the market which was across the river.

When I came home, I hugged my mother. She was angry. "Few things shouldn’t be pushed beyond," she said. “Did I say that I will not buy a pen for you? I was going to give a pen, right? But you were to adamant.  It was too much to leave the house for such a petty thing.”  She said,

“Sorry mother.” I wiped my eyes and sat down to study.

Today I have many costly and different types of pens. Pens sold in any shop attracts me and whenever I see any different type of pen, I can't resist buying it. However the pen purchased by my father on that day is not comparable with any pen in the world.  

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on AmazonFlipkartPothi and BookGanga. You can buy the print copy of Vitality in Human Resources on amazon. Click >> Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes    

Income from books is used for social cause. 

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Love yourself

Self Compassion

We all have some expectations from ourselves, however when those expectations are not fulfilled, we become angry and disappointed. Sometimes we curse ourselves. If this happens repeatedly, we start self-doubting. We are all taught to respect others, listen to others, understand others and so on…human being is a social animal; and hence most of the times, its need is recognition. Recognition of any form works for him. Recognition of being a respected person in the society, recognition of good human being. If the person behaves badly, still it wants the recognition for being bad. Human beings expect a good tag for him, and the person will do anything to get it. Good people try to get the recognition of being good and bad people get it by being bad. Good people try to get acceptance from society. 

The whole award industry is using those professionals where every 1 professional out of 10 is getting some achiever, top professional, top leader award. Why this? Because to be likable and respectable. But when they try to be more likable and compromise with their values then conflict occurs. To get an award, to make others happy, to make a boss happy, to make peers happy, we go beyond boundaries which they don't care.  In this process, we do injustice to ourselves. 

Bad people try to create the impression by being worse and dangerous. That’s why the gangsters, scamsters, mafias proudly publicize their work. Once I was interacting one of the union leaders and he was proudly telling me how many half murders he has done and how many court cases are against him.  

Image- internet

Forget those bad people, but let’s speak about those people who want to always be likable. They care a lot for other people, but not themselves. The pressure of performance, the pressure of earning meals for the family, relationship conflicts and workplace stress create an unnecessary burden on human beings. The pandemic has put everyone in a very odd situation like this. However, it is also the time to take care of yourself. During the air travel the safety instructions are given before the take off. While doing this crew members emphasize on putting the oxygen mask first and then to the child and others. This means that you should survive first and be able to help others. Unless you don’t care about yourself, nobody will help you. If you love your family and friends, first be able to help them by caring for yourself. And to do that you have to be compassionate towards yourself. Self-compassion is crucial for your survival in a real sense. Self-compassion is more powerful than your self-esteem. People who are compassionate toward their struggles, feelings, failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly criticize themselves. Self-compassion increases the feeling of security and net worth. This is more powerful when you get a setback, and your self-esteem is low. 

Whenever there is negative thought, self-compassion helps to think deeply and come out from the setbacks. When we love ourselves, we are kind with self, it brings positivity. This positivity is important to be resilient. When you accept yourself as it is then only you can think to change. In that case, being vulnerable, taking critical feedback and recognizing development areas becomes easy.  

Accept yourself as it is and be compassionate with yourself. 

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on AmazonFlipkartPothi and BookGanga. You can buy the print copy of Vitality in Human Resources on amazon. Click >> Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes    

Income from books is used for social cause. 

Saturday, January 08, 2022

Are you stuck up?

Imposter syndrome

Image: Pixabay

Are you stuck up in your current job and you are experiencing that you are not performing as per the expectations? Do you feel that you are not as capable as others perceive and your success is because of your boss, or external factors and not because of your performance? Do you feel that you are not included in the team, and nobody supports you? Are you trying to please everybody and have the feeling that you are making a lot of mistakes? If your answer is ‘yes’, perhaps you are going through an “imposter experience” also known as “imposter syndrome”. Sometimes in the career we are stuck up; there are challenges, but we are not in a position to take any action. This is a natural phenomena, however, when you feel helpless and want to withdraw, then definitely there is something wrong with you. This also leads to taking things personally and not taking the critical feedback positively. The person with these feelings starts doubting herself/himself. This leads to negative self-image.

The life here is not in the person’s control, s/he tries to set high goals, please others, try to be perfectionist and never satisfied with his/her level of understanding and try to learn many things.

Most of the time, the roots of our behaviours are in our background, upbringings and the way we are grown by parents. Studies suggest that people who come from families characterized by high levels of conflict with low amounts of support may be more likely to experience imposter syndrome. Sometimes it is possible when the person gets the new role and doesn’t believe that s/he has the right skill sets to perform. People also experience the imposter experience, when they are going through transitions. There are certain reasons like the way we think, the self-image we have developed, poor ability to manage stress & anxiety and having more expectations from self and others.   

Imposter syndrome is not the lifelong syndrome. You can overcome this experience by being positive and developing the belief in yourself. It is important to reflect on some hard-hitting questions like do you really need approval from others? Are you practical with your strengths and weaknesses?  And what are those experiences which you can reverse positively?

Few strategies to cope with imposter syndrome are:

  • Self-reflect: Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t become personal when somebody is giving you the feedback for the improvement. We all have blind spots and working on those is crucial in development.
  • Challenge your thought process, identify, and recognize positive experiences where you perform and feel good. Believe that, if you did good in the past, you would do better in the future.   
  • Share your feelings to whom you believe. Take their opinion and suggestions. Asking for help and support is not bad. If required, ask for the support you need from others.
  • Learn emotional intelligence skills. Try to recognize the feeling and reason behind those. There may be some belief behind those emotions and feelings. Then try to convert those feelings into some rational thought process and positive feelings, sometimes finding the silver lining and creating new beliefs.
  • Most important is accept yourself as it is. Think rationally about yourself. Don’t look at yourself through the eyes of others. Think or rate your behaviour and not self.

The belief that what we carry is not necessarily right, hence it is important to work on those beliefs and develop new ones based on new experiences.  

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on AmazonFlipkartPothi and BookGanga. Income from books is used for social cause. 

Saturday, January 01, 2022

Trend to watch in 2022

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” Brad Paisley

After completion of 365/366 days, the year ends, and the new year comes. every year gives a different experience, different learning. Year 2020 was difficult for us because of Covid19. Many people lost their loved ones. We expected that 2021 would be good, however it was more challenging. The positive side is that we got the vaccine, however again there is a fear of the spread of Omicron variant 2022. Life has been tough for us for the last 2 years and 2022 will not be a different year. However, there is a silver lining in everything. 

Time acts like a great teacher, mentor, and guru. 

Every year gives some perspective to life. 2020 taught us to be human, being minimalist. Year 2021 taught us the value of life. Every human being is impacted by the covid19 during 2021. Crisis like oxygen and unavailability of hospital beds tested our patience. The good news was getting vaccinated, and India has done a remarkably wonderful job by vaccinating people. 144 crores doses are administered till date.

Another positive thing happened is domestic consumption has gone up and the economy is doing great in India. Talent market is picking up. This will definitely have a boost to the economy and growth will continue in 2022 too.

We also need to be positive in 2022 considering the spread of the Omicron variant. Few trends we should watch in 2022 are explained here.

More focus on health & wellness: Though the people adapted to live with the Covid19 virus, awareness on health and wellness will be a major agenda for government and private organizations. Employers will have to prioritize mental health at work. They will have to set boundaries to create a healthy work-life balance for employees. With Hybrid and flexible work practices, work life integration will be crucial for everybody.    

Great Resignation: We have seen some trailers in H2-2021 about high employee turnover in different sectors. IT professionals are in demand but other professions like Talent Acquisition Expert, HRBPs, Business controllers, Data Analyst, Data Science Engineers, Marketing professional are also in demand. This will continue in 2022 too. The Talent Market in India will be hot next year.

Sustainability and social commitment: Speaking about sustainability and social responsibilities was cool a few years back. Covid has forced citizens and organizations to act on. People realized that now it is the time to give back to society. Organizations will continue to be committed to social responsibilities along with few concrete actions to have a positive impact on people and the planet.

Entrepreneurship: Many people adventured into entrepreneurship, some by choice and some were forced as they lost their jobs. Government is also supporting start-ups and new innovations, Universities, Colleges, and Institutes started incubation labs to foster new ideas. Year 2022 will see the birth of more Entrepreneurs.

Political polarization and regional instability: Political world will continue to be insane. The definition of terrorists, freedom of speech will be decided as per the political and social agenda. Regional instability because some countries will be disturbed. Taliban and their supporters will interfere on the instructions of their masters. Polarization in European countries has already started. NGOs, political leaders, so called activists, journalists will run their own agenda based on their interest and it will be more visible. However, those people will lose their credibility as citizens are becoming more aware about the situations           

Women and Gender: During the pandemic women in lower strata were impacted a lot. It is the need to bring them back in the flow and do something for them. It is the time to think about the poor and design some programmes to make them employable. The government, and industries will continue to focus on Inclusion and Diversity. 

Technology: Metaverse, 5G, Virtual Reality, connected equipment, EV, space travel etc. etc. is the talk of every conference. This will continue in 2022. Personally, I feel that these will be discussed a lot instead of actually coming into reality. The tests and standalone experimentation will continue but it will not be normal for at least next 2-3 years.  

Something about Millennial and Gen Z: Another trend is about millennials and Gen Z. Sometimes we stereotype them by calling millennials and Gen Z. Every generation is different and that's human evolution. Every generation learns new things, excel, and progress and use the new opportunities to their advantage. This is their choice; however, every generation has their own challenges, and we should recognize those. The new generation is using technology to their advantage, they want to take challenges, they want to be influencers, they want to impact the world and create their own identity. After a long 2 years, students will start attending offline classes. Pandemic has impacted them and their mental health. Going back to offline mode will be a bigger challenge to them. Teachers, Parents, Society, and employers (during campus selections) should be more empathic with them.    

Year 2022 will be challenging but I am sure that this year will also be a great teacher for us bringing more positive news.

Wish you all a happy new year 2022.  

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organizations, current or past) 

Author's book are available on AmazonFlipkartPothi and BookGanga. Income from books is used for social cause. 

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