Motivational speakers don’t change your life.

"Motivational speeches are like drugs. We listen and get intoxicated in the atmosphere and illusion created for a few hours." 

Long back, one of the friends took me to the event citing that there is a great motivational speaker who is going to change our life. When I asked him how exactly he will do that? He told me that it is good to listen to the speaker. Of course, there was a ticket.

Those days were very hard, struggle was immense. What I wanted was good advice to do something different in life. So, I decided to join. The event was organised in a big hotel. When we entered the hall, the atmosphere was energetic and everybody was excited to listen to the speaker. Few people were roaming around and cheering the audience. They were asking to clap, to cheer. Yes, it was exciting. After half an hour, the anchor announced that the speaker was entering on the stage. He requested to stand up and clap for the speaker. It was a mesmerizing atmosphere there.

Speaker arrived on the stage. He shouted, “Hey guys, do you want to make the change in your life?

Audience responded, “Yesssssssssss”

Speaker started the speech. It was like one act play, moving and running from one corner of the stage to another corner. He was jumping and hollering while telling a few known stories. In between asking the response from the audience. Speech was full of inspirational stories, citations, Hindi Shayari, jokes and a lot of words like, extra mile, discipline, focus, conviction and so on.  No doubt, it was a great speech.

Eventually, when we came out of the session, we were happy and everybody was speaking about the speaker, his style, his stories. After 2-3 days, my friend and I totally forgot his speech. For us, it was another entertaining event. I had attended a few more sessions of few more motivational speakers and it was not different from what I attended the earlier one.

There are 4 types of motivational speakers,

• Speakers who have achieved something in their life and they become motivational speakers, like Arunima Sinha or similar.
• Some CEOs, CXOs or great business leaders who are invited regularly on different forums after their retirement.  
• Professionals who practiced hard to become speaker and became motivational speakers
• Professionals who were in sales of some insurance, FMCG or some multi-level marketing (MLM) company.  

I like listening to the first 2 categories. They are authentic, genuine and they have their own experience to share.

However, we should understand that motivational speakers don’t change our life. It is upto us what message we take from them. If you follow everything they speak, you may get in trouble. Most of the time, they don’t motivate people to change the behaviour. Otherwise the world would have been different. We have a lot of speakers, spiritual leaders, mentors who deliver messages and still people have their own issues. It is pertinent to note that you have to fight your battles and face your own struggles. What others say may not be relevant to you. Inspirational speeches did not equal motivation to create real change for the audience hearing.  It did not mean that three days after the event, when people were back in the office, that it had any impact on their behaviour one little bit. 

Motivational speeches are like drugs. We listen and get intoxicated in the atmosphere and illusion created for a few hours. After that we are back to the normal and forget everything. 

I am not against listening to motivational speakers; however, it is important to believe in your own competencies and ability to undertake tasks and achieve your goals. This is also called “Self-Efficacy”. Hearing one of these speakers does not build self-efficacy and belief that you can achieve something more – it may in fact do the opposite. Same is applicable to LinkedIn stories.   

Please read the print replica of my latest book written for leaders on amazon kindle, Vitality in Human Resource: Adding human dimensions in HR processes

(Opinions are purely personal & does not represent my organization)

With new year… start your new life…

It doesn't matter what your intentions are or how high you set your goals; what you'll be remembered for is what you accomplish...  

After few hours, we will be in 2019, in a new year.. and this is my first blog in a new year. however what is the different in new year?… for nature it is same, for universe it is same… universe has completed just one lap…but everything will be same, except your thinking. Mentally we have accepted that with the change of year on the calendar,  something new is ahead…and we should think actually for something new. Celebration of new year is the ritual, but it should not be only the celebration or ritual… it should be the celebration of adopting something new; Changing something and being more matured and stronger. The way forward in  fulfilling your dreams.

Of course this is also the opportunity to change our outdated belief and habits. Do you welcome the change?

I know it is very difficult, but if you have a right attitude and faith on the power…power of this universe which has the ability to convert odd into opportunities…then accepting the change is very easy. For this flexibility is the key.

Another is to maintain a strong belief that no matter what happens, you will get through it. Know, deep in your heart of hearts,  that you are bigger and stronger than any outside force and circumstances.

If you look back and introspect, you will realized that everything what you did or achieved gave you a different experience and you came out from the odd situation. You achieve something because you can do it. You have already proved that you have lot of potential and you are ready to take new challenges in life.

Remember that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade…

Only one think you should do and that is, Promise… Promise to yourself…

Promise yourself, your family and the supreme power which believe that you will peruse the change you wish and the dream you have to the best of your ability.

You deserve to get what you dream and what you think…. But take actions… 

Wish you all a Happy New Year!

Make your own Luck…

Luck is the choice and you can actually design your luck.

Do you believe on luck? Almost all believe on these two words. There is positive and negative connotation to the words. But do you think that you can always be lucky? Luck means occurring by chance, which implies that luck just happens by chance and it can’t be planned or obtained by intention.

Off course you can’t influence the decision of raffle or lottery or roll of dice. So here you can’t win by wishing or hoping, yet you can be lucky, how? Just observe following,

Know what you want: I decided to take a new car and it was clear in my mind that I would like to purchase Honda City. When I decided, I seemed to see the Honda city everywhere on the road. While driving, car next to me or car besides to me was Honda City. Off course it hadn’t just appeared, it had always on the road. But it was only after I had learned the Honda city that I noticed it.

If you don’t know what you want, how will you know when you find it?        

After few days, I was the owner of new Honda City.

In a similar way, when we become aware of opportunities, we notice them everywhere. Like my new Honda City. When we feel lucky, we see opportunities everywhere. When we do not feel lucky, we miss them completely. Off course, the opportunities are always there, but we are not aware of the, unless we feel lucky. Opportunities of all kind around us, but we recognize them only when we feel lucky.

Let people know what you want: if you let others know what you want, they pass on to useful information and tips. If your friends are not aware that you want to change the job, they can’t help you. But if you communicate, they would definitely

communicate opportunities.

Try, try and try again, but if it still doesn’t work, then try something else. If something is not working well inspite of all efforts, give up and try something else, when you have done your best. But give it your best first.

Believe on your intuition: Respect your feelings. This does not mean you gamble on, it means that you listen to your feelings and intuition. Consider them carefully and check them well. you don’t know, you may discover something all of sudden from your insights. Some may be hidden and you may have to take it out from you.

Do you know that chain of carbon molecule was invented in dream…here is the story.

August Kekule, a Germen scientist, is regarded as one of the principal founders of modern organic chemistry, the chemistry of carbon-based compounds. In 1858 he showed that carbon can link with itself to form long chains. In 1865 he reported his discovery of the benzene ring as the basis for another major group of carbon molecules. Kekule told that he had a dream after falling into a reverie aboard a horse-drawn London bus. “The atoms were gamboling before my eyes!'' he saw how the larger ones formed a chain, dragging the smaller ones after them but only at the ends of the chain. Kekule literally invented how the carbon chains are formed while in dream. This is a power of intuition.   

Believe you will succeed: Many great achievements did not overnight. Often they were precede by many false start and difficulties. You need to maintain your faith that you will soon succeed in small things and in times in great ones. Never give up on your dreams.

You can be lucky, not by magic or dreaming, but by following some of the time tested tips mentioned above. However they do not substitute to smart work and efforts.

Good Luck.            

Bus Conductor who makes people happy….

“देणाऱ्याने देत जावे.........  

I used to travel daily to the college by state transport bus. It was Ojhar (where the factory of Mig fighter planes is located) to Nashik.  Bus was always crowded, and most of the time the travel was by standing. It was starting March and we were preparing for the examinations. One day, I took the bus and fortunately I got the seat to relax while travelling. After few minutes when bus started on Highway,  there was a huge crowd of vehicles on the road stuck up in the traffic jam.  Whole route was jam.  There was no guarantee that we would reach at college on time, however there was no point to go back. I decided to face what is there as the whole situation was not in our control. Vehicles were moving with slow pace. 

Power of appreciation

During my school days, Once, I was travelling with my teacher to the nearby district city for attending scholarship examination. It was almost 40-50 km travel by state transport (ST) bus. My teacher had taken the responsibility to guide us in preparations & to take us at the examination center. He took extra efforts on us for this exam.

Anyway, the bus was fully crowded. The conductor of the bus got irritated with people. This was his daily job to handle passengers mostly from villages, sometimes passengers without tickets. 

Conductor gets a sigh of relief after all passengers settle. My teachers leans towards the conductor and starts the conversation…

“It must be difficult to manage such crowd.”

“Yes, but what to do, this is the life for me.” Conductor responded.

“I must tell you; you are doing a great job, it is very difficult to handle this big crowd. It is very difficult job. After all, you also have to prepare the accurate account statement and reconcile your ticket sell. Though this is your routine job, you do it well. I appreciate you. ”

Conversation continued, however I decided to take a nap.

After getting down, I gave my unwarranted feedback to the teacher, “Sir, you were speaking with the conductor and I heard you were appreciating him. I thought, what he is doing is his job, what’s great in it?”

“Yes child, but you see the difference after that. He pull the bell to stop the bus at next stop, somebody at that stop must have needed to get in the bus to reach the office on time; he helped one old lady to get in the bus; next to that he was cool and cracking some jokes. His gestures has resulted into the chain of reaction, positive reactions. The person who needed to reach office on time will be on time in office, his boss would be happy. That old lady would be be happy. The atmosphere in the bus was happy. Further it must have positive impact on all. Just imagine the next positive reactions of people….”

“We should not forget the small gestures. I have not spend anything, only few words for appreciating that conductor, but I made his day, he made others’ day… see the difference” he continued.

In our traditional culture, we don’t appreciate frequently. Even in families and relations, we just ignore this appreciation. Our families do lot many things for us; they live for us, however we never say   “thanks you” to them. If you drop something on the floor and somebody helps you to get it back, we mechanically say, “thanks, thank you” to that somebody, who may be the stranger. 

However your wife daily makes food for you, give everything to you when you drop something, you would not say thanks to her. Parents give your everything, they work hard so that you get good education and be on your own in your future life, you don’t appreciate their efforts. Your children bring happiness in your life, still you don’t say, thanks to them.

We just assume that that is their duty. What’s the big deal in that. Not necessary you have to say it verbally, however do we recognize them through some gestures?

Appreciation has its own power. 

Appreciation has different meanings. Commonly it means recognition.

Dictionary meaning of appreciation is “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.” 

Another dictionary meaning of  appreciation means, “increase in monetary value.”

And both meanings are interrelated. By giving appreciation, you recognize good qualities, but you also increase value in relationship. It may not give the monetary benefits, but creates more value in relationships which has worth than monitory benefits.  

Everyone wants to feel appreciated and everyone values a simple ‘thank you,’. This doesn't happen enough in the workplace or in families, but showing simple forms of appreciation can really go a long way in motivating people to work harder and be more productive.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them”. JKF Kennedy. 

How people are motivated....

Every day, in the life, you face the motivational issue. There are lot of discussion on how to motivate people. Common complaint is people are not motivated to do something, People are self-centered, they are not proactive, they have to be pushed. When you try to motivate that doesn't always work. The question is how to motivate? How to make them to do the job which you want. I think, this is the fundamental question in life of parents, teachers, managers…  

How people are motivated???

People are motivated for two reasons,

•        To get the pleasure…
•        To avoid the pain…

When you project the pleasure in the task, they probably will work hardly to achieve the task.  You can also project the pain, in case the task is not completed and they will still work. People who are motivated to get the pleasure are “towards” people and people who are motivated to avoid the pain can be called “away from” people.

You have to give an appealing emotional reason to feel emotionally good. If the person compete the task, he will fill  better and his boss as well and perhaps he may get the good feedback during annual performance review. This is associated with the pride. “I did this because, I am proud to do this” should be the feeling.

You need to find in the people what makes them feel good. You have to care and be interested in them. Think of the benefits, to yourself or another of doing something and use benefits rather than obligation to motivate the people.

“Away from people” or pain avoiding people will have different strategy. You have to use the different strategy while dealing with them. They are motivated by avoiding pain. You can motivate them by telling about the pain, they will avoid by doing it. It’s like the same proverb which says, “one man’s meat is the poison for another.”

Here, you have to give an appealing statement, where if the person performs the task, he will avoid lot of problems and pains in life.    

You can use both pleasure and pain statements to motivate the people. Most of us are motivated to pleasure self or others, however sometimes, avoid pain/problem is also required.

Choose the appropriate statements to motivate the people based on these two strategies. By the way, how are you motivated? Motivate to pleasure or motivate to avoid the pain? 

The promise of an Ox

Motivation can do wonders..

There lived a very poor Brahmin. He got one calf in gift. After few years it grew up to in a strong ox. The Brahmin had no family. He was also very old now and he use to think that he will die in this poor state only. One day this ox said to his owner, “Master! You have brought me up like your own son. I have not done anything for you. Now, I would like to do something for you that bring you some money.

The Brahmin wondered, still he asked, “ How it is possible?” The ox said, “ Master! You tell all the villagers that I can drag a Bullock Cart loaded with 100 bags of 40 Kgs each.  You bet with them. Put a bet of Rs 10 against Rs1. Tell them that they if get 10 rupees against each one rupees if I could not drag the bullock cart. Nobody will believe you. But I promise that you will win the bet and become rich”. Brahmin became very happy and he announced at all places. The villagers could not believe that an ox can pull such a weight. So, the villagers agreed to bet immediately.

The day of bet arrived. 100 bags of loaded rice were stocked in the Bullock Cart. The poor ox kept trying and trying but the bullock cart did not move an inch. The Brahmin started to curse and abuse the ox. The ox became sad. Brahmin lost the bet and he has to give away all possessions he had. Looking at the condition of his master ox had tears in his eyes. The Brahmin shouted at ox, “Why are you crying now. Its me who should cry.”

The ox said, “Master! You did not behave well with me. You shouted at me. I was about to pull the bullock cart but you started to abuse me. That’s why I am crying. After listening to your harsh words I lost my courage and we lost the bet.” Brahmin immediately realized his mistake. Then the ox said, “Believe me sir. This time I will pull the Bullock Cart loaded with 200 bags of 40 Kgs each.  You bet with the villagers. Put a bet of Rs 20 against Rs1. After lots of thought, the Brahmin agreed to take the biggest risk in his life to bet. Villagers thought that this Brahmin has gone mad and yet they agreed to bet again.

Next Sunday the crowd gathered. 200 bags of loaded rice were stocked in the Bullock Cart. The ox tried hard to pull the bullock cart. Even after 5 minutes of try he could not move the bullock cart. Villagers thought that again this Brahmin would loose the bet. Now the Brahmin went near to his ox and said, “ Son! This is a tuff job, but I have full faith on you that you can do it. Try once more.”

After listening to such words of praise and faith the ox tried once more with all his energy and the much-awaited amazement happened, the bullock cart started to move. Everybody was surprised. Brahmin won the bet and became very rich in few moments.

Morale:

If you trust people, people will keep your trust. Motivation can do wonders.

Wish you all happy Dipawali

The Young Man and the Starfish

A wise man was taking a sunrise walk along the beach. In the distance he caught sight of a young man who seemed to be dancing along the waves. As he got closer he saw that the young man was picking up starfish from the sand and tossing them gently back into the ocean.

“What are you doing?” the wise man asked.

“The sun is coming up and the tide is going out; if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”

“But young man, there are miles and miles of beach with starfish all along it – you can’t possibly make a difference.”

The young man bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it lovingly back into the ocean, past the breaking waves. “It made a difference for that one,” he replied.

The Young Man and the Starfish – a story inspired by Loren Eiseley

Let’s make a resolution to make a small contribution to make the life of others happy and spread the lights in their life on this Dipawali – occasion- Festivals of Lights.

Wish you all Happy Dipawali!