What? You have not listened what I said?

Identify your communication style

All problems in organizations are due to lack of communication or improper communication. People have different styles of communication. You have to choose the right style in particular situation. However people do not tune their style as per the situation. To ensure we communicate effectively each time we speak, we must understand our own communication style and preferences.     

There are four styles of communication normally people chose while communicating. Dr. Carl Jung, a famous & noted psychologist has described a unique model on this as per the figure 1.

Spirited (Expresser): Spirited communicators get excited easily and tend to ask “Who?” They dislike boring explanations and react by “selling” ideas or becoming argumentative. They like to be applauded and recognized and prefer to save on effort and rely heavily on hunches and intuition. For best results, they should be inspired to aim for bigger and better accomplishments.

Considerate (Relater): Considerate communicators like positive attention, to be helpful and to be regarded warmly. Tend to ask “Why?” They dislike rejection, uncaring and unfeeling attitudes and reacts by becoming silent, withdrawn and introspective. They love to be with friends and nurture close relationships. For best results, they must be allowed to care and provide detail; be provided specific plans and activities to be accomplished.

Systematic (Analytical): Systematic communicators seek a lot of data and ask many questions. They tend to ask “How?” They dislike making an error and being unprepared and react by seeking more information. They love to be measured by activity and busyness. In this regard, they aim to save face; they hate to make an error or be wrong. For best results, they should be given a structured framework and be provided time to make decisions at their own pace.

Direct (Driver): Direct communicators like to have their own way; they are usually decisive and have their own viewpoints. They tend to ask “What?” They dislike someone wasting their time by trying to decide for them and react by attempting to take more control of the situation. They love to be measured by results and are goal-oriented, save time, and be efficient. For best results, they should be allowed freedom to do things their own way.

Each style has its strengths and weakness.

Please refer figure 2 for strengths and figure 3 for weaknesses

You can identify your dominant style based on above descriptions. However you can’t use your style in all situations. You have to be flexible to be effective communicator.  

How to deal with these different style of people?

Recognizing another’s style allows us to make adjustments in our own behavior to accommodate that person’s style. This, in turn, makes that person feel more at ease and helps us to achieve our goals more readily. It takes some willingness and effort to expand beyond one’s own style to interact with others. It is generally appreciated, however, and may make the difference between success and failure in an interaction.

Please refer figure 4 for this.

Managing styles of different managers…

Every person has different behaviour and habits and if we considered managers as personJ, then they have strange behaviour and habits.  There are few managers who start their work after office hours. When you want to leave the office at sharp 5.30 pm, they will call you and will spoil your evening.  Some walk faster than employees, some have habit of staring out of the window while talking to employee, some managers let you give answers, some hide information and there are lot more other variations. Here are these different types of managers explained that why they do stuff they are used to do in front of employees.

Walking faster than employees: You will find these mangers in passages and corridors always walking fast than you. They are very busy and always ask you to run.   “We’ll have to talk” you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

Staring out of the window: These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

Managing by post-it’s: Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their busyness by continuously writing on Post-it’s while you are talking.

Managing by delegation to the secretary: These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He/She is good, He/She knows what he must do.

Managing by knowing nothing: These managers don’t really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

Managing by conceptual thinking: These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

Managing by hiding information: Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secretly kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of stimulants from category 5!

Managing by doing exactly what the boss says: These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.

Managing by walking one foot behind the boss: In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

Managing by smiling and wearing nice suits: If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

Managing by studying: Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category ‘MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING’. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.

Managing by creating vague overhead sheets: Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.

Managing by open door and empty room: This is a major improvement of the older ‘OPEN DOOR’ management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

Managing by speaking with other managers: This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.

Managing by having a non supporting infrastructure: In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.

BUA management (by using abbreviations): This management style is ATRASACWOC. (Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )

Managing by using buzz words: These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.

Managing by reorganization: If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.

Managing by believing: These managers must be spiritually educated, because they have no clues at all.

Managing by forgetting promises: If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.

(Adopted from different sources)

Who are they?

We always have descriptions for people. We tag them based on their personality and their success. We call somebody lucky chap, achiever or super achiever. Sometimes we classify them in true sense which actually tells something about the person. Simple description sometimes brings about greater understanding.  Most of times, people are complicated and understanding them is a real challenge. It is always wise to label people in a correct way. You can use following tags to classify people in right perspective.

Achiever: Achievers are target oriented and work hard to achieve their goals. They may be less oriented to people. Sometimes they may tend to use the people relationship for achieving their goals. Nothing wrong, but you should expect the reciprocation.

Affiliator: These people like to associate with people. They believe on relations. Very helpful and will see the opportunity to make new friends. But try to understand their intention of association.

Fighter: Believes that argument is the best option to win. They are pushy and fight for everything. These people don’t believe that issues can be sorted out by discussing.   

Independent: These guys are judgmental and judge thing by their own standards. Will go for what they want alone.

Preserver: Likes things to be completed. Will find out the ways to push and will not leave you until you agree with them.

Exhibitionist: These people like to be in the center of attention. Will do anything to be in the eyes of people.

Fearful: Always low profile and don’t take any stand in life. Shrinks from excitement and anything might be the threat.

Impulsive: Who thinks of something and does it. They will end up buying things which is really not necessary.

Carer: Want to help people and will not expect anything. They are really concern about people to whom they into relation. But may encroach your personal space.

Orderer: Very orderly and disciple people. Hates untidiness. Spends ages making things tidy and orderly.

Boss: Like power. Dominant and like to boss others around.

Sufferer: This person compliments the carer. He is always the victim and likes to share their problems and difficulties to others.

Researcher: This guy wants to understand everything. Will ask you lot of questions. For him it is knowing than achieving.

Off course there are other tangs also. If you really try to understand people and tag them you can decide your strategy to deal with them.   

Do you know these types of people?

Enjoy the funny side of a person….

If you observe people carefully, you will find the consistency in their behaviour. Most of people are predictable. If they are predictable, it is easy to understand and manage them. There are different types but still unique personalities around us. If you see the lighter side of their behaviour, you will enjoy them. This is one of the ways to make the life more enjoyable. I have identified few of themJ. While reading, please refer “he” as “she” also.

Me too guy

You have different stories to tell to people. These people may be your friends, relatives or neighbours. They are in families, communities, societies and offices. The conversation with them goes like this.

You are planning to purchase a new car and you speak with the guy of “me too” type.

“I am planning to buy a car.” You share with your friend

“I am also planning to buy a car.” Your “Mee too” type friend replies

“I think Honda City is better.”

“Yaa, I am also planning to take Honda CRV or Skoda Rapid.”

Whatsoever you plan, they also have the same plan but at better or higher level.

“My son has been sent to USA by his company.” One proud father tells to his neighbor when they meet for society meeting.

“My son is also planning to go to UK for a year.” He replies back.

If you tell them anything what you do, they will have something similar to tell you. In such conversations, another person doesn’t recognize the success, achievement of first person.

They will have similar experiences like you. They will cut you in between and tell you their story which is similar to you.

“Knows everything in this world” guy

Oh, very knowledgeable guy. He knows everything in the world. He has always something to say on. Content of their knowledge is questionable, but he will comment on everything.

He knows why Manmohan Singh is still the Prime Minister; He knows what Uddhav Thackaray will do after Balasaheb Thackaray; He knows what politics happened while selecting Indian team; He knows why Vijay Mallya doesn’t care his airlines and he also knows why FDI should not be allowed in India.

He will throw references, numbers on your face. Anyways you don’t know what actual numbers and references are.

“Challenger”

This person will challenge you in everything.  You say that FDI is necessary for the growth of India. He will challenge and argue with you why FDI is fetal to Indian economy and poor people in the country. If another person says that FDI is not necessary, he will still challenge and argue why FDI is required.

This guy is really a monster. He can play the role of effective opponent in meetings.       

“Question Mark” guy

Have you seen the person asking questions in every meeting, every occasion? He has lot of questions in his brain. If he doesn’t have questions, he will still create question. You can’t guarantee the quality of the question. During whole conversation, he may miss what you said. Back of his mind, the question processor is always on during conversations, meetings and he never miss the opportunity to ask questions.

“Opinion in everything” guy  

He will have opinion in everything. When he doesn’t have any opinion, he will still have the opinion! He is like the judge of TV Reality Shows. He will comment irrespective of any knowledge in subject matter. He is an expert on his own in any subject matter.

“Friend of influential people”

He always says that he knows most of the influential people in his area. Local corporator of Municipal Corporation is his good friend. He has good network with the top boss in his organization. He will mention top references during the conversation.

He knows local MLA. He knows judges, police officers and who not? But you can’t be sure how his relationship with them is.

“Oh, I know Police Commissioner very well.”

“I know the local corporator of our area. If I decide I can get the desired parking in colony within 8 hours.”

Fact is when it comes to police verification for passport, he has to take somebody with him as a witness and his parking issue never resolves.  

This is just because he says and you have to believe him just for the sake. Actually nobody knows him. I wonder why his child doesn’t get the admission in desired school if he has good relationship with the President of School Committee.

Identification of these types of people is easy. Just start the conversation with them and you will enjoy.

If you know anybody different typo person please share with me.