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At work people are generally shy about mentioning the discussion partner‘s emotions. It requires sensitivity and practice to formulate the observed emotional state accurately and appropriately.
ØOne should let one’s discussion partner know how you’re experiencing the situation and the other person, after certain episodes or passages. Such statements are helpful when there are misunderstandings or conflicts.
ØWith feedback, you let the other person know how you have understood his statements, what wishes you have, and how you have experienced him. It is just as important to receive such statements, as to give them, without reacting crossly, out of sorts or defensively.
Such responses are better received, when you
ØDescribe content instead of passing judgment;
ØFormulate emotions directly instead of indirectly;
ØSpeak in the first person (“I”) instead of third person (“One”, “it”);
ØAllow reciprocity, i.e. staff can speak to their manager in the manager that he speaks to them.
ØState your own wishes (concretely what the other person should do differently)